“Get it together”
“She’s a headcase – too emotional”
“There’s no crying in gymnastics”
Any of these sound familiar? “Feelings” can be a dirty word in the gym for some of us. Dealing with emotions takes away from time spent on skills and routines.
Right?
Maybe not.
What if we thought about managing emotions as another skill that has to be taught and trained?
You probably already do some of this – especially around dealing with fear. But there’s a whole range of emotions that everyone goes through every day! Where is their love?
Athletes need space to express all their emotions – positive and negative. AND they need guidance on dealing with them in a constructive way. Being able to do this as the coach (aka responsible adult in the room) is a skill itself! To get started, focus on how you are asking questions. How do you ask questions about emotions while moving practice forward? Here are some tips:
- Ask open ended questions. Go beyond “are you ok?” or “how are you?”
- Keep the questions simple and short
- There’s no right answer, so let the gymnast interpret the question on their own.
- Let the gymnast lead the conversation – it’s not about you.
- Use silence as a tool…just wait for them to talk.
I keep some questions on the tip of my tongue to check-in with my athletes. It might be when the vibe is weird, when it’s an off day – or on good days to find out what’s working well!
- What are you feeling?
- I understand you are feeling _____ right now. Why do you think/feel _______ right now?
- How can I/we support you going forward?
- How did that make you feel?
- Describe your beam workout in 1 word
- What was the most challenging part of your workout today?
- How did you feel when you______(tried a new skill? Had a bad fall?)
How do you talk to athletes about their emotions? Let me know in the comments!